TGIF…My A**!

TGIF, right? Wrong. My day is off to a lousy start. Do any of you have days where you just feel off? Well, today is one of those days for me.

Last night, I had a reeeeeally hard time sleeping. I have those nights most of the time but last night I was in so much pain, that is was nearly impossible to get into a comfortable position, much less sleep for any amount of time. The last couple weeks, my hands and feet have been going numb here and there. Although this has happened before, it has never gone on for long extended periods of time. I have noticed for 3 days straight that 3 of my 5 fingers on each hand are completely numb as well as my left foot. My nerve pain in my left leg has also gotten worse. It literally feels like I am being stabbed with needles down my entire leg ALL DAMN DAY LONG! I can’t take it anymore. I should have taken the nerve medicine they gave me 2 months ago, but stupid me doesn’t like taking medicine daily. Who knows if it would have worked anyway. I also have a tendency to think too much while laying in bed. Thinking about costumes and if I picked the right size backdrop. The list goes on and on. I can’t shut my brain off. Last night I sang the Peppa Pig theme song in my head for 2 hours while listening to Neil snore.

Nicky woke up 10 times crying. Molars? I really hope that’s all it is. We just got over 2 weeks of sickness and I will go crazy if anyone gets sick right now. Both boys were up at 5:56 am. One with a dump in his pants and one screaming for a snack.

The girls made it to school 2 minutes before the bell rang. Success! Next up, Target trip. Of course there are 0 carts available outside and of course Will isn’t wearing any shoes. With Nicky on my left hip and Will on my right, I storm through the parking lot and into Target to a cart. I’ll pay for that dumb move later. Shit, I forgot the cart cover. Since Will wasn’t  wearing shoes, he had to go in the cart as well which caused a tantrum. Isle after isle, I piled groceries onto Will and made my way to checkout while Nicky was content eating his Starbucks mini lemon scone. As I was loading groceries onto the conveyer belt, I felt liquid dripping onto my foot. As I look up, Will stands up and begins to sing loudly to the tune of the Star Wars Darth Vader song…..”I peed my pants, I. Peed. My. Pants!” Nooooooooo! He never even mentioned he had to go and his light gray sweat pants now had wet stains in the front and the back and it was all over the floor! Come on, Man! Then, Nicky had eaten through his scone and was working on the target seatbelt that we all know is super clean, right?

Most of the time, I can handle this stuff with flying colors. Today, was not one of those days. I made it to the car, where I sobbed my eyes out. Being a mom of 4 is tough. Don’t get me wrong, I love being their mom and would be lost without them, but some days I am just not tough enough to handle the chronic pain I deal with and the craziness of a mom/business owner/wife’s life. I also think as this surgery creeps closer, I become more and more filled with anxiety. No matter how many times I tell myself I can do it, it just doesn’t seem to help.

Here’s to praying the rest of the day gets better. I’ll be spending it organizing costumes and cleaning the house. Fun.




One thought on “TGIF…My A**!

  1. Dear April,
    I will go straight to the point, if you allow me, and plead your cause to heavenly places. I hope you don’t mind.
    Dear Father, I come into your presence today to bring Hermione’s dance teacher alienating pain, especially the loss of perception in her hands and fingers. It is difficult for me to conciliate how good you are and the fact you allow pain to strike us down. As a child I can think you know best, as a mom would allow the nurse to pierce through the skin of her child to give him a life saving immunization . I remember the agony I felt when the ER staff tried to start an IV on my two months old Hermione. Knowing she desperately needed it, but how painful it was for her; she cried. I am wondering Lord if you are feeling the heart wrenching torment parents have when their kids are in pain. Reading the book of Psalms or Esaie I know you do suffer for us. But Lord, you are the God of miracles too. I dare to ask you, in the name of your Holy Son Jesus The Christ to remove miraculously the pain caused by the damages to nerves in April’s back. Please allow her vertebrae to shift in an healthy way, so that the nerves are not pinch anymore. Send your Holy Spirit to April to comfort her soul, knowing she is not alone and that you care deeply for her. Give her the ability to breathe deeply and to fall asleep, so she can have her strength restaured in a natural way. Cast away all evil spirits and powers that are working to destroy April’s heart. In the name of the Lord YSHWEH I order them to go away and never come back. May all glories be yours Father, for YOU alone ARE.

    Liked by 1 person

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