I am a little behind writing this post. It was migraine central over here this week and I wasn’t able to get much done; plus staring at a computer screen typing wasn’t going to help either. Migraines definitely are connected to my back issue and for the most part, I can handle it. However, this week was a doozy. It literally felt like my head was going to pop off and explode at any moment. Of course this is extremely horrible timing since I need to be in the studio working and I have a gigantic list of things needing to be done for the upcoming show, as well as the massive amount of planning we still need to do for this surgery in July. God help me.
Today after class, I had a meeting with parents and the nine students I have going on pointe this summer. Most of these girls I have had since they were 3 or 4 and it’s so exciting to see this same group that have been together over the years starting their pointe work together including my oldest daughter, Laura. When planning my surgery date, I tried to plan around my summer session. I had every intention of being in class to help them learn how to tie their shoes, break them in and tell them the infamous story of how my toes bled so badly in class it turned my shoe red. Originally my surgery date was scheduled for July 26th and after two more switches due to the Doctor’s schedule, I have my permanent date of July 5th. This gives me one week of summer classes to see them on pointe until I return. That’s tough to swallow.
I feel like I am letting them down. Most of them knew I had back problems but I have never lead on to how horrible and serious they were. I just keep trucking along teaching as many classes as I can, dancing as much as I can, and pretending that the tour jete I just did doesn’t make me want to curl up in a ball and cry. My body is falling apart and having no control over the pain, my surgery date, post op etc., makes my Type A self want to go crazy.
After dinner tonight, I put on some music to dance to. Yes, I am that person. When I am not dancing at work, I am dancing at home. I asked my 3 year old, Will, to get up and dance with me. In his little voice he said, “But Mom, I don’t know how to dance”. I explained to him that dancing is just moving your body and soul to music and anyone can do it while I demonstrated a simple knee bounce and finally got him up jumping around. It opened my eyes to see that maybe my ballet dancing will be limited, but I will ALWAYS be able to move my body and feel the music. In that moment, my 3 year old helped me realize something so incredibly important. From the words of Gwen Stefani, I’ll just keep on dancing.
Short post today, but if you have time, go check out my health and Food section! I posted my first recipe for a quick and easy sauce that kids love!