Sleep? What’s Sleep?

I’m sure you can guess what I am writing about today just by the title. Yup, ding ding ding, you are correct. Sleep. During the week, I scribble down some notes on what I want to write about, making sure not to leave out or forget things like I often do(I think its called Mom brain). Sleep was not on my list until last night when I laid there frustrated and ready to scream. And then I thought, why haven’t I written about it yet? Becoming a mom, you already turn into a different kind of sleeper, basically sleeping with one eye open. Throw insomnia and scoliosis into the mix and it’s a recipe for disaster. Did I mention my cranky 3 year old son, Will, who refuses to sleep in his bed most nights?

Yesterday was a trying day for my back. Happy Easter by the way! This year, I decided to do a big brunch instead of a dinner because my back isn’t in as much pain in the morning. Of course, I wake up in horrible pain, but it’s pain I am used to and I try to do most cleaning or run errands early before the afternoon stage of back hell. Yes, back hell. It took me 3 days just to clean one room last week. After 2 hours of cleaning, my back freezes up and the muscle spasms are endless. Needless to say, we should probably hire a maid at this point. But I am so anal and OCD I would probably follow her around and micro manage her.

Easter Brunch was perfect. I even made a point to prepare some things the night before to make it easier on me. My table was lovely and the peach bellini’s were fabulous. I got through cooking with the help of my Brother-in-Law. Standing is the worst and I probably cussed under my breath 5 or 6 times. The pain just takes my breath away. Once everyone left, I put Nicky down for a nap and by that point I couldn’t move. So, I was really looking forward to laying down and sleeping last night.

*%$&*@#*$!!!!!! Yeah. I am always so excited to get in bed and sleep. Yet, it NEVER happens. At least not smoothly. Not only is it hard for me to shut my brain off and stop thinking, but I don’t have any comfortable positions to even fall asleep in. Every single position hurts at this point.  If I sleep on my right side, my right arm goes numb and my leg gets sharp pains shooting down.  After 30 minutes, I need to switch positions. Same goes for my left side except add in my rib that pops in and out. It actually scares me to sleep on my left side because it feels like my ribs are going to collapse and break. I have 5 pillows surrounding me that used to give me some relief but its failing me now. Back sleeping doesn’t help and there’s no way I can sleep on my stomach (A position I used to only sleep in). I basically sleep in a C position with my legs all the way over on my husbands side, giving him just a sliver of the bed. Then 2 hours into “trying” to sleep, our 3 year old starts yelling and ultimately ends up in our bed. The damn Star Wars sleeping bag isn’t working. So our small Queen bed just got smaller and I am forced to then sleep with my ass cheeks hanging off. Which, by the way, go numb too. Neil’s alarm goes off at 4:45 am and then Nicky is yelling in his crib at 5:45, and so my day starts all over again. Some nights its so bad, I just sob in the bathroom quietly. No one knows I do it, but it happens 4-5 nights a week. This back pain has pulled me into a depression that I try to suffer with on my own and when I am in desperate need of sleep, it just doesn’t happen.

Trying to start the day off happy. Here are a few pictures from my Easter Brunch set up. Also, if you enjoy my blog, please subscribe with your email(Top right corner). Every time I make a new post, you will get an email notification! That’s it. Cool, right?

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