I never realized how many people like me there were out there. Years ago, I would search and find no one going through what I was. I felt so alone and didn’t have anyone other than my husband to talk to about it and even then, I would be embarrassed and not want him to “examine” my back. Sure, my closest friends knew, but not really to the extent of how awful it actually was. Over the last few days looking at the pictures I posted, to me they don’t really do my back justice because I feel like in person, its a whole other level of “scary”. Maybe I am just so used to seeing these pictures, that it just doesn’t look as “scary” as it is? Just thinking out loud here….
Facebook and Instagram have certainly made it easier to find others like me and now I can’t believe I never tried searching there before. I have met a few women similar to the severity of my curves that have gone through surgery. It is great to get some real advice and my questions answered from someone who is actually going through it. Talking to them does make me worry about my upcoming surgery, but it’s also important to hear. I will now be as prepared as I can be going into this, emotionally and physically.
I have hit it off with one woman in particular who is now 3-4 weeks post op. We definitely have many similarities, both in our 30’s, we both have kids and we both have 80 plus degree curves and I will be possibly fused all the way down to the sacrum just like her (Still debating that one). She had an amazing doctor and now is almost perfectly straight. So, why am I told I will only see a 50-60% reduction in my curves? My doctor is amazing too. People fly across country to see my doctor and they call her the pioneer of spine surgery for women. So, why can’t I be fixed 100%? Arthritis is down my entire spine making it difficult for my spine to be flexible. I also apparently have another thing called kyphosis. So my spine doesn’t just curve in an S side to side, but also causes my spine to protrude out my back as well, hence my large deformed rib hump on my left side. So, I have some obstacles….Fabulous.
Although it has been anxiety inducing to hear what some of these women who had surgery say, there have also been some great moments where we can make light of this extremely crappy situation. And by crappy, I mean crappy….L I T E R A L L Y.
In one message conversation I had with my new friend, she went on to tell me how horrible post op is and how she can’t do ANYTHING for herself. She proceeded to tell me I won’t even be able to wipe my own butt for the first few weeks. I immediately text my husband from class telling him this new revelation. And this is how that convo went….
So apparently he only wants to wipe my ass once? So I guess a full sacrum fusion is the way to go. What makes this even more hilarious is that every year I see a psychic at the Wine Festival. Don’t judge me. I used to do it for fun, until she was spot on about a ton of things! Last year, she told me my husband and I were butting heads (which we were) but that something very serious would bring us closer than ever. At the time, I had no idea what she could possibly be talking about. But now I do! He will be wiping shit off my ass! Now that’s love!