Making new friends…..

I never realized how many people like me there were out there. Years ago, I would search and find no one going through what I was.  I felt so alone and didn’t have anyone other than my husband to talk to about it and even then, I would be embarrassed and not want him to “examine” my back. Sure, my closest friends knew, but not really to the extent of how awful it actually was.  Over the last few days looking at the pictures I posted, to me they don’t really do my back justice because I feel like in person, its a whole other level of “scary”. Maybe I am just so used to seeing these pictures, that it just doesn’t look as “scary” as it is? Just thinking out loud here….

Facebook and Instagram have certainly made it easier to find others like me and now I can’t believe I never tried searching there before. I have met a few women similar to the severity of my curves that have gone through surgery.  It is great to get some real advice and my questions answered from someone who is actually going through it. Talking to them does make me worry about my upcoming surgery, but it’s also important to hear. I will now be as prepared as I can be going into this, emotionally and physically.

I have hit it off with one woman in particular who is now 3-4 weeks post op. We definitely have many similarities, both in our 30’s, we both have kids and we both have 80 plus degree curves and I will be possibly fused all the way down to the sacrum just like her (Still debating that one).  She had an amazing doctor and now is almost perfectly straight. So, why am I told I will only see a 50-60% reduction in my curves? My doctor is amazing too. People fly across country to see my doctor and they call her the pioneer of spine surgery for women. So, why can’t I be fixed 100%? Arthritis is down my entire spine making it difficult for my spine to be flexible. I also apparently have another thing called kyphosis. So my spine doesn’t just curve in an S side to side, but also causes my spine to protrude out my back as well, hence my large deformed rib hump on my left side. So, I have some obstacles….Fabulous.

Although it has been anxiety inducing to hear what some of these women who had surgery say, there have also been some great moments where we can make light of this extremely crappy situation. And by crappy, I mean crappy….L I T E R A L L Y.

In one message conversation I had with my new friend, she went on to tell me how horrible post op is and how she can’t do ANYTHING for herself. She proceeded to tell me I won’t even be able to wipe my own butt for the first few weeks. I immediately text my husband from class telling him this new revelation. And this is how that convo went….


So apparently he only wants to wipe my ass once? So I guess a full sacrum fusion is the way to go. What makes this even more hilarious is that every year I see a psychic at the Wine Festival. Don’t judge me. I used to do it for fun, until she was spot on about a ton of things! Last year, she told me my husband and I were butting heads (which we were) but that something very serious would bring us closer than ever. At the time, I had no idea what she could possibly be talking about. But now I do! He will be wiping shit off my ass! Now that’s love!

4 thoughts on “Making new friends…..

  1. What a wonderful blog, thanks for sharing your story and transparency. My name is Heather and you just started following my account journey2fusion on Instagram. I look forward to keeping in touch and supporting you any way I can.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hello,

    I found your blog through a comment you left on Instagram and the name Scolimom immediately caught my attention. While I had a completely different scenario than what you’re going through right now, finding other people who have experienced this journey is always a tiny bit comforting. I had my surgery 15 years ago, when I was just a sophomore in high school. I didn’t know anyone who had scoliosis, let alone anyone who had titanium rods in their backs. I was never athletic, so I didn’t have to worry about giving up anything like that, but just the thought of being out of school for months and undergoing this major surgery at a young age was terrifying. In hindsight, I’m so glad I did it, and after hearing your story I realize that that’s the kind of scenario my doctor was referring when he warned me about what would happen if I didn’t have this surgery (I believe his exact words were “you will be a hunchback by the time you’re 45”). I’m so sorry to hear about what you’ve been going through, and I wish you nothing but the best because you’re right – scoliosis sucks, no matter what way you slice it. I will definitely be following along with your journey and cheering you on along the way!


    PS – When I was in college, I met a boy who had the same surgery when he was 15, two weeks before I did. I thought it was so weird, because as I got older, I met other girls who had had it, but never a male before, since it’s so much more prevalent in females. His was more extreme – his surgery took double the time mine did, because he had to get two rods. It ruined his hockey career (as much as you can have at that age) and he couldn’t play the drums again after surgery either. Well that boy and I ended up getting married, and we’ve been together now for over ten years, and I just can’t believe that I met someone else who had this same crooked spine that I did. What are the chances?! Now I fear that if we have children they are most definitely doomed, but at least we would know more than our parents did about keeping a more watchful eye on it as they grow up.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s