A day shy of 2 weeks until the “Big Day.” I will admit, it hasn’t been easy for me this last week. Crying, panic attacks and sleepless nights are the norm now. I feel like a such a wuss. I know there are plenty of people all over the world who have worse situations they are in. However, even though I remind myself of that and tell myself that this hell is temporary, I still find myself crying my eyes out and having nightly panic attacks where I feel like my heart is going to explode out of my chest. The thought of surgery and all that it entails is consuming my every thought. I also think about the fact that although the pain and recovery is temporary, what is not temporary is the fact that I will have approximately 28 screws and 16 or so inches of steel titanium rods down my spine that will prevent me from bending EVER AGAIN. I don’t think people realize that even after my 2 year recovery period, I will not be bending or twisting EVER. Walking and day to day life is going to be tricky, let alone learning a new way of dancing.
With everything going on, some really amazing things have also happened. Friends, students, and even people I don’t even know personally have followed my story and have offered their support including meals and help with child care. I wanted to take the time to write a little post on one in particular who sent me this amazing jacket. I swear fate had part in this.
I had come across a company called Rank & Sugar on Instagram a few months back right when I started writing this blog. They take old vintage Army jackets and turn them into chic fashion forward jackets with an edge that have inspirational quotes embroidered on them by hand. You can accessorize with rabbit fur collars and pockets or cute wrist bands. I ended up connecting with the owner whose own sister had scoliosis surgery some time ago. We instantly clicked and last week I got the most amazing gift in the mail.
I cried upon opening the box. It came with a personal letter wishing me luck on July 5th. The owner really poured her heart into this jacket even embroidering Scolimom on the front pocket and attaching my favorite leopard pockets. There are embroidered quotes and stamps throughout the jacket. The back reads, “She needed a hero so that’s what she became”. The inside has stamps that say “You got this”. I absolutely love it and I can’t thank her enough for taking the time to make this beautiful jacket that I will wear and feel like a bad ass warrior in.
Pictures are courtesy of my favorite photographer, Tara Marie Photography. She was able to squeeze me in after our Carmel trip and right when I needed a pick me up today, the pictures were ready for me to view.
So, although I really hate what is about to happen to me, I have also come to realize that there are amazing and generous people out there willing to lend a helping hand and I am forever grateful to those that have been supportive and continue to be. Thank you!